I originally posted this to my private Facebook page on September 10, 2022. While I don’t do a ton of marketing on my FB profile, I do have a lot of entrepreneur friends I’m connected with there. While I was initially a bit nervous to post this, the response I got was massive. Mostly in the sense that people said, “THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!”
I didn’t want this to be buried on my profile in the wake of that. So I’ve copied it and put it here.
After sharing it, my friend Amy Walsh invited me as a guest for her monthly community conversation series and it felt really nice to be speaking about it so openly.
While I have no concrete answers on where to go from here, I’m actually ok with that. Mainly because I have no desire for this to be a “do as I say” moment. We’ll each have to decide how we wish to proceed and I think keeping the conversation going in community is important.
Happy Saturday...I'd like to introduce you to my "elephant in the room." His name is Kevin. Let's have a little convo about him, shall we? (Brace yourselves, I'm just doing this stream of conscience style and it'll probably be long)
What is the elephant, you ask? It's the fact that there is so much unimportant and disingenuous nonsense in the world of online business. And the fact that everyone is afraid to talk about how truly bad things really are...and will continue to be.
I mentioned this on the live I did with Briar Harvey this week on burnout, but one of the best and most healing things we can do for ourselves right now is to be radically honest with ourselves, vulnerable with our support networks, and we need to grieve either what was and is no longer, or what might never be.
Please note this isn't meant to make you feel terrible or like you should throw in the towel or that the sky is falling. But I'm also not going to sugar coat anything. While I've always been honest and non-hypey in my promises, I generally have a light touch with things... but we are barreling full-speed toward Mordor so the conditions have changed.
If you don't have the capacity for this today, I understand. Do what's best for yourself and stop reading here.
So many brilliant, talented folks who've had years of success are now hurting. They've already found remote work or are looking. They are rethinking the future of their businesses and who'll they'll serve. Burnout isn't on the horizon, it's already here.
Business requires so much of us. Time, space, money, energy, emotional resilience, tenacity, support and more. There has not been, nor will there ever be, a time where every business owner has the ability to hit 7-figures. And it's got absolutely nothing to do with how good you are at what you do or how badly you want it. Hell, I'd even put that at $250,000.
And even if you do, it doesn't mean you can stay there forever. This isn't even about a personal failing on your part. It's just the truth of the matter. It requires the right mix of so many things working in harmony to make it happen. And even when you can get there, things could shift and you might not have the ability to shift with them.
I've watched people in the past few years destroy themselves and their bank accounts in the pursuit of this "promise." It's not to say you can't or won't have success, it's that too many people for far too long have made it seem like this higher level of success is just a hop, skip, and a jump away if you just build the right funnel.
I wish I could say I've always been immune to sniffing out this bs, but under capitalism I think we see what we want to see because getting honest about the alternative is too grim. I wince now when I think about scared and pregnant 23 year old Erika who joined her first MLM hoping and praying it would work, when I knew in my heart it was unlikely. I was fooling myself though and even then I kinda knew it.
And now, on top of all that, we are living in collapse. We are living in the end of empire. The world is both on fire and under water simultaneously and this industry pretends like it isn't. In fact, for a price perhaps your business could even be "recession-proof." (This is just as sexy as MLM promises, but deep down it's avoidant behavior for those who believe it and a money grab for those who know it’s not real.)
Yes, we need the means to support ourselves. I'm not proposing we pretend currency doesn't exist and form some sort of commune.
We will all continue to experience the ripple effects of collapse in different ways and at different times.
But nobody, not even the wealthiest among us, gets to opt out.
Here's what we need to be present to right now:
-The state of California almost lost their entire power grid this week.
-The price of food is astronomical and climate change will only make growing it even more of a challenge, especially at scale.
-People can barely afford housing in so many cities and they predict now that by 2030 40% of single family rentals will be owned by corporations.
-In America, the CDC has basically enacted a policy of eugenics in favor of capitalism.
-Larger industries are already making recession plans; some cities are preparing for climate refugees; and there are literally not enough mental health professionals available to keep up with demand (to say nothing of the ones leaving the profession since it's so broken here).
I could keep going honestly.
So in the face of all that it seems pretty glib to act like if we're all just savvy enough we'll be spared. To pretend we all have the capacity and means to simply keep pivoting again and again to keep revenue woes at bay.
Yes we need to pay our bills. And no, the remote full-time workforce isn't for everyone. These are realities too.
But can we stop kidding ourselves? Can we have honest uncomfortable conversations about what's coming and what already is?
Believe me I so badly just want to help people strategize so they can use their business for really fun things like a dream house, dream vacation, or generational wealth.
But it’s not just the external that’s in collapse, it’s us too. And not addressing it openly feels like it’s adding to the burden and also quiet shame. Not talking about the elephant feels like lying at this point. A sin of omission, if you will.
Just this week alone here’s what friends of mine (who also run businesses) have struggled with, and I’m probably forgetting so much:
-Disabled friends in burnout trying to figure out how to shift business so they can still pay bills when they can’t work a traditional 9 to 5
-A friend whose child has significant medical needs who lost power in California for 3 hours the other day (after being truly homebound since March 2020 no less)
-Another prepping evacuation supplies due to wildfires that were close by
-Another approaching the anniversary of when a wildfire destroyed their home and business 2 years ago, causing them to move across the country to start over
-People preparing to leave the country because it’s so unsafe for them and their family here
The conversations in my DMs and close knit communities are telling. The things we fear and feel nervous about aren’t just coming, they’re already here.
The examples I gave truly just scratch the surface. I don’t want to face them either. But pretending it isn’t happening will only create more suffering.
I don’t have answers, just an ask for two things:
-Can we talk about this collectively so we don’t all continue grieving alone or feeling worried in isolation?
-And can we stop beating ourselves up thinking we should be making more or struggling less because someone with an entirely different business model and life said so?
I want you and your families to be safe. I want you to be prepared. I want us in community conversation. Because what’s at stake right now is so much more than our businesses.
And I don’t care how people perceive me after this. If they think I’m weird or paranoid. If I seem like a real killjoy. I hope you can tell this was written with all the love I can muster.
(Perhaps you are doing just fine and if so, I love that for you. But the people I serve and love working with are usually those who were already averaging $2,500-$7,500/mo and already navigating compressed schedule, neurodiversity, and chronic health issues both mental and/or physical or both. They are people with big dreams and huge talent and kind hearts. So maybe that's not you and your clients, but it is mine. And they've been so significantly impacted the past few years, even pre-recession.)
I'm glad I read this. A lot of what you've written here is stuff that has been on my heart, and I've been talking about with my husband, but to fearful to say it out loud.
Every single week, after I grocery shop, I say to my husband... I don't know how families with less than us are surviving. We are a family of 4 whose grocery budget went from $200 / week a year ago, to now $300 / week. We don't buy extravagances, or fancy organic foods. How are people with less surviving? And, why aren't we hearing more about this?
It hurts my heart, and I do what I can as far as donating. Yes, the money is wonderful and important, but I feel like (like you said) more people need to be talking about this. This shouldn't be some big secret, and often that's what I feel like capitalism has done... taught many to keep their mouths shut if they have it good enough for fear that they'll lose their "good enough." This isn't everyone, obviously.
And, the other thing I wanted to say was that I have had SO MUCH GUILT around my business since March of 2020. My business was growing pretty well, and when I lost a few clients, I lost my confidence. Then the overwhelm from the big P happened, as the main caregiver, educator and homemaker, and business owner. I don't believe I've ever fully recovered. I feel like the overwhelm is always there just floating under the surface, and I have a lot of guilt. One, because I'm not contributing to my family's finances, but also, and probably more so...because I keep asking myself... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why can't I just get myself moving forward like this person or that person. I don't believe I've ever grieved what I had, or accepted where I currently am.
This is a lot, but thank you for this post!